When Jesus encountered the man who had been sick for thirty-eight years by the pool of Bethesda, His first words were not about the man’s illness or the length of his suffering. Instead, Jesus asked a piercing question:
“Do you want to be healed?” (John 5:6)
At first glance, it may seem like an odd question. Of course the man wanted to be healed, right? But Jesus knew the truth many of us wrestle with: healing is not always as straightforward as it seems.
What Are Secondary Gains?
In counseling, there’s a concept called secondary gains. These are the hidden benefits or “perks” we might receive from staying in our struggles, even if we aren’t always aware of them.
For example:
Receiving sympathy and attention from others.
Having an excuse to avoid hard responsibilities or changes.
Feeling a sense of identity in the struggle (“this is just who I am”).
Avoiding fear of failure by not trying.
These gains don’t make the pain any less real. Trauma, anxiety, and depression are legitimate and often heavy burdens. But sometimes, part of us clings to the familiar—even if it hurts—because it feels safer than stepping into the unknown of healing.
Why Would Someone Not Want to Heal?
It might sound harsh, but it’s true: not everyone wants to get better. Healing requires courage, surrender, and trust. It means letting go of patterns, beliefs, or relationships that—even if destructive—have provided some form of comfort or stability.
The man at the pool had grown accustomed to life as it was. Healing would mean radical change: walking again, taking responsibility for his life, working, engaging in community. That’s why Jesus asked the deeper question—“Do you really want this?”
God’s Loving Challenge
God’s heart is always for our wholeness. Isaiah 61 tells us Jesus came “to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives.” But God also honors our will. He will not force healing on us.
Sometimes the most loving thing God (or a therapist, or a friend) can do is gently ask: Do you actually want to be free from this? Or are you still finding something in the pain that feels easier than healing?
It’s not condemnation. It’s invitation.
Steps Toward Honest Reflection
If you’ve ever felt stuck in cycles of suffering, here are a few prayerful journaling prompts to sit with:
What do I gain from staying in this struggle? (attention, avoidance, familiarity, etc.)
What fears rise up when I imagine being healed?
If Jesus asked me today, “Do you want to be healed?”—how would I answer?
What small act of faith can I take to step toward freedom?
The Hope of Healing
The good news is that Jesus doesn’t just ask the question—He offers the power to walk. Healing may not always be instant, but with time, therapy, prayer, and community, God can restore what was broken.
Choosing healing means choosing change. It means trusting that God has something better than the safety of our suffering. And it begins with courageously answering Jesus’ question with a humble, hope-filled “Yes, Lord.”
Take heart: You don’t have to stay where you are. Healing is possible, and God will walk with you every step of the way.